How To Kill A Vampire
by SpeedNirvana
Summary: Dante Sparda' finds himself back in time to face the orginal king of Vampires...he might need some help for this one. A Devil May Cry/Castlevania story that orginal started out as a way to settle a Dante v. Simon debate.


How To Kill A Vampire

Chapter 1: The Absent Party

It had been two weeks since the first slayings. And it only had gotten worse since. People were talking now in hushed tones;

whispering about the unnatural fog that had settled in the valley; about the stories of monsters murdering travelers in the night.

'No one is safe' was the general consensus. Not since just days ago a traveler had come to town covered in blood, screaming

about monsters and a village simply disappearing. Perhaps most unsettling was reports from a platoon of knights who had been

sent to investigate a castle that no one could remember ever being there before, and never returned.

No, for the small village of Dreamont, this was all the needed to hear before the old stories were being told again; the

horrible vampire of legend who had plagued the land years before; the very same who was slain another by a member of the

Belmont clan, who were something of legends themselves. The very same, who had returned. A belief shared by one disturbed

Simon Belmont.

Simon approached the castle as he did not long ago. The whole walk had an eerie feeling of déjà-vu. The sights, the sounds, the

creaky iron gate, and the looming castle. Even the weather was exactly the same. Simon closed his eyes, and took a deep breath.

'_The memories just _

_don't leave this place', _he thought. _'I'll be dammed if everything doesn't feel exactly the same. As if nothing has changed at all.' _

Simon readied his whip, the family heirloom 'Vampire Killer'; A simple if effective name. A whip that kills vampires. He tried

to clear his head to begin his task of cleansing the night once more, but he couldn't shake one constant, nagging thought.

_'How? How did he come _

_back?' _Technically, Dracula couldn't be killed in the traditional sense if he was already dead. But Simon thought for sure at least

he could be put down for a longer period of time. '_I wonder if this is the way _

_it's going to be forever. Me, risking everything to defeat, Dracula, only for him to come back...everything I've done in vain. _

Simon sighed and rubbed his forehead. _' _

_ Well there's no future in quitting I suppose. I did once before, I should be able to do it again. This time make sure he _

_stays down' _

And with that, he uncoiled Vampire Killer and kicked the front door…only for it to fall in at the first sign of pressure.

Simon stumbled onto the dusty castle foray over the collapsed door. As he got to his feet, cursing under his breath, he began to

notice the unnatural silence around him. Still holding Vampire Killer at the ready, he cautiously walked forward to where he

knew the grand stair case was.

_'Much harder to find the stairs in the dark. I really did take all those lit torches for granted…wait, what?' _

The torches were all snuffed out. But it wasn't just that. An overall feeling of ruin had settled in the castle. The felled door, the

extinguished torches, the dust, the broken windows; this was no castle fit for the return of Dracula. Simon did recall that the self-

proclaimed king of vampires had a flair for theatrics and simple wouldn't tolerate the castle in this state. And yet here it was, far

from the horrifying if impressive spectacle he remembered. He circled the foyer until he came back to the collapsed door. 

_ 'Could someone else have slain Dracula? Is that even possible?' _Just as he was about think about the ways one could

kill a vampire and raucous roar split the night. Simon quickly crouched low and uncoiled his whip, preparing for an attack. The

sound was far away, but it was unmistakably the cry of the undead. But it was different somehow. Almost like it was…

_'Afraid?'_

"Raaaaaarr-!" SPLAT! Dante Sparda effortlessly crushed the impaled zombie's skull with his boot.

"And I just had these polished", he said with a smirk as he pulled his sword out of the zombie and into another

attacking him from behind.

"GAAAARRRGGGH!" The monster bellowed as Dante dangled its body from his sword. "See? This is exactly one of

the many, many problems I have with the undead. You guys just don't appreciate good fashion. I mean for crying out loud,

Pants? Wanna try em' sometime?" Bored, Dante chucked the monster into a wall and turned around to face the rest of the horde

of creatures of the night. Zombies, ghosts, posed suits of armor, giant snakes, skeletons, ghouls, and more stood before him. It

was an intimidating army of mankind's darkest nightmares come to life. And it probably would have been more impressive had

they not all been running away.

"Oh come on! That's no fun for me guys!" Dante laughed, as he sheathed his sword and un-holstered his pistols. "At

least move around a little! You know, make me work for it?" He began to fire into the crowd of fleeing terrors, mowing them

down. A loud screech interrupted his carnage, as a large vampire bat swooped down from the rafters, fangs out stretched…only

to be shot 50 times in both of its wings and chest and ending up dead before it hit the ground. Dante stepped around the dead

beast, gingerly poking it with the toe of his boot. "Aww, now you're actually making me kinda sad. All right, all right." Dante

holstered his pistols and unsheathed his sword again. "No more big, bad murdering 'I can kill you without touching you' God. I'll

just hit you with my sword till you fall apart, K?"

The reaming ghouls circled him briefly before blindly charging. Dante slightly shifted his stance, and held his sword

aloft, then quickly spun the blade in a circle; once, twice, three times. The monsters attack ended as quickly as it begun as the fell

to the bloodied floor. Dante sheeted his sword, eager for another fight. He bounded across the hallway and launched himself

through a window. Sticking his sword in the castle walls, he spun on his heel and began running up the tower. A host of demonic

ravens and bats swooped down to assail him, but he expertly disposed of them with a few stray shots from his dual pistols.

Dante neared the top of the tower and launched himself from the battlements, over a wall, and into a shaded courtyard.

As he neared the ground, his hearing picked up movement. Without thinking, Dante pulled out his guns and began firing in a wild

circle to slow his descent. He landed, and saw the body of a…werewolf? Sure enough, two lay dead, illuminated by the

moonlight. And the growling in the darkness of the courtyard indicated there were more.

"Werewolves? Sure. Why not?" With a sigh and a smirk, Dante drew his sword. "This is my kind party. Wish I could

meet the guy who's throwing it.."

The werewolves howled and rushed at Dante in pack formation. Their speed and the darkness made it impossible to tell how

many. Dante swung his sword and managed to catch two, but a third leaped over his sword and sunk its teeth into his upper torso.

"Arrrgggh! Sonabitch!" While he held down the two struggling werewolves with his sword, he grabbed the

wolf by its neck and tossed over his back where it hit a statue with a sickening thud. The fourth and final werewolf was cunning

enough to circle Dante and lunge him from behind. The wolf growled as it leapt at him, jaws first. He ducked just in time then

back flipped into the air. As he was completing his flip, he let his sword drop the ground point first and un-holstered his guns.

_Badabadabadabadabadaba! _ He spun in the air, firing Ebony & Ivory and the wolves, landed, and

delivered a swift kick into the wolf he previously through into the statue. The loud crunch of bone indicated that he had broken its

neck with the attack. The wolves he had slashed initially were shot to death, and the last one? Dante plucked his sword from the

corpse of the last one.

"Look at below." He snickered at his on joke, and strolled off. "Well, looks like this party's pretty

much dead. Not a very, lively crowd now that you mention it!" Dante waved his arms and gestured to an imaginary audience.

"Hehehe, but then again, it's not so hard to be the life of the party when everyone else isn't! Heck, they're not enough alive to

begin with!" Dante thought for a moment. "Okay, okay, that was bad." Shaking his head, Dante was prepared to walk out of the

courtyard when he heard the crack of a whip.

"Oh what now?" said Dante, as he turned to face the stranger.


End file.
